This year for me started out quite interesting.

I had school holidays from late December until February this year and then I had long service leave for 5 weeks.

In total, I had 11 weeks of leave, wow!

I had so much planned I wanted to get into the gym and work out, I wanted to go and stay at a hotel near the beach.

I wanted to take walks along the beach and just listen to the waves and feel the sand under my feet.

I wanted to declutter my house and sort through things.

I wanted to go out for lunch and catch up with friends for coffee.

I wanted to work on my self-care.

I wanted to journal.

I wanted to work on my book.

I had so much planned for this time off.

But!

I did not realise the impact that last year had on me.

It was probably one of the hardest years I have had as a Chaplain.

I felt like I carried that year on my shoulders and didn’t know the weight of what I was carrying.

I didn’t realise the impact it had on my body until I stopped after Christmas.

I mean I really stopped; I had no desire to go anywhere.

I had no desire to be creative and I love being creative.

I just sat on my couch and watched Netflix.

It was not what I had planned.

I felt like I had fallen into a deep pit and I had no idea how to get out.

I was stuck.

It was difficult and I reached out for help.

I was advised that I just needed to rest and recover.

I was questioning how do I do that, what does that look like for me.

I didn’t plan to spend my holidays, staying at home.

I went back to work and really didn’t feel 100% but I was so happy to see everyone.

Slowly I began my climb out of the pit.

I prayed.

It was a journey and I slowly began climbing out of the pit.

There is hope, there is always hope and sometimes you need a pause to gather your thoughts and work on your new journey.

If you are feeling like you are in a pit, reach out and keep reaching until you find someone who listens to you.

Keep reaching out, until you find someone that is there for you.

I am cheering you on.

I will share more soon.

Tracey Buckley