This year for me started out quite interesting.
I had school holidays from late December until February this year and then I had long service leave for 5 weeks.
In total, I had 11 weeks of leave, wow!
I had so much planned I wanted to get into the gym and work out, I wanted to go and stay at a hotel near the beach.
I wanted to take walks along the beach and just listen to the waves and feel the sand under my feet.
I wanted to declutter my house and sort through things.
I wanted to go out for lunch and catch up with friends for coffee.
I wanted to work on my self-care.
I wanted to journal.
I wanted to work on my book.
I had so much planned for this time off.
But!
I did not realise the impact that last year had on me.
It was probably one of the hardest years I have had as a Chaplain.
I felt like I carried that year on my shoulders and didn’t know the weight of what I was carrying.
I didn’t realise the impact it had on my body until I stopped after Christmas.
I mean I really stopped; I had no desire to go anywhere.
I had no desire to be creative and I love being creative.
I just sat on my couch and watched Netflix.
It was not what I had planned.
I felt like I had fallen into a deep pit and I had no idea how to get out.
I was stuck.
It was difficult and I reached out for help.
I was advised that I just needed to rest and recover.
I was questioning how do I do that, what does that look like for me.
I didn’t plan to spend my holidays, staying at home.
I went back to work and really didn’t feel 100% but I was so happy to see everyone.
Slowly I began my climb out of the pit.
I prayed.
It was a journey and I slowly began climbing out of the pit.
There is hope, there is always hope and sometimes you need a pause to gather your thoughts and work on your new journey.
If you are feeling like you are in a pit, reach out and keep reaching until you find someone who listens to you.
Keep reaching out, until you find someone that is there for you.
I am cheering you on.
I will share more soon.
Tracey Buckley