The Moment I Lost It

The Moment I Lost It


Have you ever had that moment when you have said the words, heard what you have said, wondered if they actually came out of your mouth and then realised at that moment you are capable of standing up for yourself?

Well this happened to me the other day.

If you know me when I do become upset about something I do like to process it and try and deal with the situation resulting in a win, win situation.

I am passionate about standing up for injustice.

Well last Tuesday I do not know what overcame me.

The day started out so well, I went to work and then I finally made it to boxing which I have missed. I had made a commitment to attend boxing twice a week.

I was driving home from boxing and was feeling amazing. I had stopped at an intersection and was waiting to turn left.  I couldn’t go the intersection was busy then it happened the person behind me drove into the back of my car.

At first I couldn’t believe it, I looked in the rear view mirror, I flung the door open, I flew out of the car and I said to the person who had run into me “You just drove into me”.

There was no fear; I had not accessed the situation I didn’t know if the other person was going to be aggressive or anything. All rational thoughts had left me.

The person just sat in their car and said to me “I thought you were going”.

I replied “Well I didn’t”.

The other person got out of their car and I asked if they could give me their details. The other person said that they didn’t have a license it was stolen and that their car was not insured. I received their details and I said “So if I phone this number will your phone ring” they said “Yes”. While I am saying this I am pointing at the person’s phone.

They said again I thought you were going. I said back but I didn’t and you should leave a gap between cars.

As I was saying all these things and giving this person a lesson in road rules (mmh) I just had no fear at all.

I got back into my car and a car next to me let me in and I went home.

I was okay and there wasn’t that much damage to my car, so I was physically okay.

When I arrived home I was upset a bit but then I just thought that no weapon formed against me will prosper.

After all it was only a car, I wasn’t really hurt.

I think that I had shocked myself because I had blurted out words without caring about the other person and how they were feeling.

Sometimes when you do bottle up your feelings it can only take one little incident and you find yourself becoming like a volcano.

I think it is important that you are not hard on yourself.  That sometimes these things will happen.

Words are powerful.

Will share more soon.


Have You Ever?

Have You Ever?


Do you ever have those moments when you feel like you have been waiting and waiting for a dream to be realised?

Do you every find yourself doubting, speaking negatively about a situation you find yourself in?

Do you ever find yourself crying yourself to sleep at night waiting for your situation to change?

Do you ever feel like your life has been going well and you wake up one day and notice this is not where I thought I would be?

Do you ever find yourself tired of having to do things by yourself?

Do you ever find yourself asking those hard questions?

I think that if we are all honest with ourselves, we would say yes.

We can find ourselves stuck.

It is challenging being in that place of being stuck and reaching towards your dreams.

It can be difficult and it can be hard.

How do we push through these times, how do we cope, what are some things that we can do while we are waiting?

Four Ideas Come to my Mind

  1. Hang around people that are encouraging, people that you can just be yourself with. Hang around those friends, that see your potential. Get around friends that know your dreams and are encouragers.
  2. Write up quotes of your dreams and place them around your house. Speak them over your life and believe them.
  3. Look after yourself and don’t be hard on yourself. Do something nice for yourself. You deserve it.
  4. Pray about it, have good friends pray for you and believe. Write out your prayers requests.

Don’t give up my friend.

Keep pressing in.

Keep that dream alive.

You can do it.

If you find yourself not in a great space go and seek professional help, like counselling. Phone a help line, talk with someone that you trust.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Will share more soon.


Rest in the Creative Process

Rest in the Creative Process


Last night I slept well, I woke up this morning with a feeling of peace.

Peace that I haven’t felt in a while.

The last few days I have been on an amazing retreat meeting women from all creative backgrounds. Hearing what they are doing and being encouraged by speakers and leaders in the creative area.

The retreat has energised me; it has allowed me to have the space to create. It has challenged me to spend more time on the creative process.

Today I am feeling inspired and have so many thought and ideas rolling around in my head.

I learnt that dreams that I have thought that have died, are not.

The dream is still burning and is still shining. My dreams are alive again.

I have learnt that it is okay to be vulnerable; it’s okay to make mistakes and to be kind to yourself. To be honest I am still working on this.

It’s okay to just be yourself.

I find that this is hard sometimes as well to just  be yourself and that it is okay.

It is okay to enjoy yourself and to be filled with joy.

I have learnt that I am enough.

This is something that I am still working on and to just be kind to myself.

I have been reminded that I want to sing more and that I want to just sit in the creative space.

I have learnt that I want to rest in the creative process.

I want to be able to have that space to create, the space to dream and the challenge of taking that leap of faith.

I want to be able to keep stretching myself and to always keep learning.

I have been encouraged to reach further and to just have a go at things.

I have learnt that I am a creative.

Will share more soon.