Just Breathe

Just Breathe

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A few weeks ago I was looking at Pinterest which I love and I was searching the words Just Breathe. I was looking for a quote on Just Breathe.

Little did I know how important those words would come to mean to me.

I have been focusing this year on self-care and finding a balance between work, home life and creative adventures. I had committed to going to boxing twice a week which was one of my first non-negotiables for the year.

I loved the commitment to boxing I was going twice a week and loved it.

I have also been journaling every day and loving it.

Last Saturday I woke up not feeling very well at all, I thought that I was coming down with something. I was able to make an appointment to see the Doctor that morning.

I thought that I had a cold or the flu, I love how I try to diagnose myself.

I knew that there was something was not okay with my left lung, but I was hoping that I could just push through (as I usually do).

The Doctor said that I had Pneumonia!

He wanted me to have an x-ray to confirm it and yes it was Pneumonia in my left lung.

What!

The Doctor gave me a Doctor’s note to have the week off and I did ask him if I could go to boxing. What, I know! He said Umm probably not at the moment.

I thought that I would have a few days off, but no.

So this week I have spent the whole week at home I have slept, rested and have been extremely tired.

I think that this is the first time in a long time that I have had a full week of work.

I usually push through and just get on with things.

I am not very good at being unwell, I felt so guilty because I had a full week, and I had a really busy week with lots to do. I feel like I have let people down (I know something that I am working on).

I needed to make a decision I needed to take the time to look after myself and get better or go back to work and take longer to recover.

I realised that I actually didn’t have an option, take the time of and recovery fully.

I knew that I was not well, because I wasn’t interested in doing anything really only sleeping and resting.

So my search on Pinterest for Just Breathe is all that I could really do this week.

Just Breathe

I am really learning a lot about self-care and looking after myself.

 

Hopefully I will be back at work next week. I have really missed it. I have missed being creative.

 

Just Breathe

 

Will share more soon.

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Asking For Help

Asking For Help

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I am passionate this year about writing my book on recovery from an eating disorder.

When I was struggling with the eating disorder I found it really difficult to find the help that I needed. I found it difficult to ask for help as well.

I know that when I needed help I was not thinking clearly and so my judgement was not the best.

I remember my first admission I had been referred by my local GP to a Doctor that I had not met. I was okay with that at the time because I wanted to help.

 

This also happened on my second admission because I was so unwell that I really didn’t get the opportunity to talk to the Doctor before I had met him. So I was discharged from hospital and I was still struggling, my weight had been restored but my change of thinking was still the same.

I wasn’t really coping at all being at home, I had really bad anxiety. I ended up going back to my local GP who was just amazing.

I sat in her office and she said to me that there were two Doctors that she could try.

My GP called both of the Doctors and left a message with their assistants and she said to me whichever one phones back first you will just have to go with them. She could see that I did need to go back into hospital.

Now I had heard of one of the Doctor’s, from some of the girls that I was in hospital with and I had really hoped that he would be the one to call back.

My GP suggested going over to the shops across the road from the Doctors Clinic and to come back in a little while.

I remember this day so clearly. I remember walking across the road praying crying out to God in desperation that I would get the Doctor that I needed. I remember praying that Doctor ______________, would call back.

After sometime at the shops I walked back to the Doctors Clinic and sat in the waiting room.

My GP came out to get me and I sat in her office.

She said to me that Doctor ______________ the one that I had prayed for had called back and that I had an appointment the next day at 9am.

Oh my gosh!

I knew that this was an answer to prayer a miracle really, because this Doctor had a 3 month waiting list and his books had been closed.

I had an appointment the next day at 9am.

I went to my appointment the next day and he asked me if I needed to go back into hospital and I said YES.

He was just lovely and did things a bit differently.

I remember him saying to me, “I won’t get everything right but I will do my best for you”.

And so the journey back to health continued.

 

I am grateful for every Doctor that helped me in my journey I have learnt a lot from them and most of all they were part of the team that kept me alive.

I am especially grateful to have had Doctor_____________, he saw me, he saw my potential and he did not see me as just an eating disorder.

Will share more soon.

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The Retreat

The Retreat

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I love friends that you can just be yourself with friends that you can let your guard down and just be you. I love friends you can chat about anything, where it is okay to be vulnerable.

Yesterday I went and had a retreat with a lovely friend and mentor. I had been looking forward to the catch up with her since I booked the retreat, a few weeks ago.

I drove to catch up with her listening to worship music and singing along.

As I was driving I was thinking about the word invest and rest.

It was so good to see my friend again and of course we starting talking over coffee. Yes love my coffee.

I was saying that last year was probably one of the first years in a long time that I hadn’t gone away or hadn’t gone on a plane anywhere.

So as we talked drank coffee and discussed things, the theme-    Adventure      came up.

 

I needed to have Adventure in my life and to treat myself to new experiences and just to do nice things for myself.

I don’t know about you but I am not very good at giving myself permission to……………………………………(whatever it may be).

After we spoke for a while I went to the beach and had a swim, I hadn’t done that in a while and it was so nice.

I sat on the beach watching the waves splashing into the shore. I noticed people snorkelling, people fishing and people kitesurfing. I sat on the beach and thought about the last few months, I thought about what I hadn’t been doing that somehow I had lost my adventurous self.

 

I don’t know about you but there is something about sitting near water which is calming and where I can just sit to think and not feel distracted.

 

The retreat was just what I needed and an adventure list was created.

 

I am grateful to have friends that can speak into my life and can help me get perspective on things.

So Adventure  Awaits.

What is something that you can do for yourself today?

Would love to hear your ideas?

 

Will share more soon.

 

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