The Nightmare

The Nightmare

the nightmarepic1

This is from my book that I am writing, it may be triggering for some people if this happens please seek professional help.

There were difficult times in my journey and this is one of them.

She closed her eyes and prayed that this nightmare would be over.

Did she have the strength to get better, did she want to get better, would her life be any different?

The questions just kept coming over and over, her head felt like it would explode. The thoughts were loud and aggressive. They were teasing her reminding her that she had no value, no worth and no one loved her. How could she turn off the thoughts so she could just rest?

She needed peace, she needed an answer, she needed to know that her life had purpose?

Where would she find the answers to her many questions.

The day did come when she wanted to die. A very hard thing to say out loud to verbalise it especially when there were two amazing friends that were right there trying to keep her alive. The darkness in her life was taking over and yes it was dark.

The words just fell out of her mouth, she said “I want to die.” The words haunted her and she knew that she had nothing left to give.

She couldn’t even find hope, hope had disappeared.

The moment is scary; her life was spinning totally out of control.

It was the darkest moment in her life and it was the darkest time in her life.

She really didn’t care what was happening to her, she simply had no energy to care.

“I don’t want to be alive any more” her words.

Malnourished, broken, her body fading away, trapped by an illness that had controlled so much of her life.

The illness was winning.

This is not the end of this story there is more.

The journey continues……………

hearttheheartproject

traceybuckleypic1

Thank You Amanda Viviers for helping to design the picture for this post. xx

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2 thoughts on “The Nightmare

  1. You are so brave to share this, Tracey. Writing about such a dark time is so difficult. Well done! xxx

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