Author: Tracey Buckley

I am a singer/songwriter and an advocate for people who have or had an eating disorder. I am also a soon to be author. I love being creative and dancing as well. I am passionate about sharing my journey of recovery.
Being Single

Being Single

by Tracey Buckley ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

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I asked Santa for a boyfriend for Christmas and drum roll please …………………… I didn’t get one. Its okay, I am okay about it (for now).

But it has made me think about being single and being over 40.

I have been reflecting on being single for the last few months. I was talking to my friend and mentor and she said where are all the single Christian over 40’s men?

I replied I don’t know?

So it got me thinking where are all the single Christian men over 40, where are they?

My challenge for January 2016 is to go out more.

My challenge is to try new things.

My challenge is also to say yes to opportunities.

My challenge is also just to enjoy my life.

So I have taken one very scary step, mmmh maybe that is exaggerating let me start again. So I have joined an internet dating site for 3 months. I am just going to try it and to see what happens. (I am being vulnerable here once again).

I love my life, but what I would like now is to be able to share my life with someone.

So the new adventure begins.

 

I am going to be brave, I am going to take a deep breath and then I am going to see what happens.

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Unworthy

Unworthy

by Tracey Buckley ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

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Do you every have those moments and days when you feel unworthy? Where you feel like you have stuffed up and that you should just give up?

Have you ever felt that you have let yourself down?

This is how I have been feeling the last few days.

I am being very vulnerable here.

There are times in my life when I have not been happy at all with myself. There are times when I don’t like my behaviour.

I am finding out that I am very hard on myself.

The other night I went out and was enjoying myself way too much and probably drank a little more then I should have.  Yes there I said it. I don’t go out that much really.

I was enjoying myself.

Most people would go it’s okay, my lovely friend and mentor, said to me once that I need to let go sometimes. She would probably be laughing right now.

But for me I am mortified, I feel condemned, I feel at the moment that I am unworthy. Also I am thinking that I should never go out and have fun again.

Wow that is dramatic.

So what do you do when you are feeling down about yourself and having anxiety and catastrophizing about the event? What do you do with all the what ifs?

I think that we need to be gently on ourselves, forgive ourselves and learn from the experience.

We need to laugh we are human and we do crazy things.

We can talk to someone about it and if you need to seek professional help.

Nobody is perfect, I think that this is more from me.

We need to pray and then know that God has already forgiven us.

 

We just need to let go.

You are not unworthy you are worthy.

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Speaking

Speaking

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Is there something that you really want to do that you have been procrastinating over?

For me I have taken my time about writing up a speaking bio.  I don’t know why at all?

I met up with my friend and mentor a few months ago and worked on some goals and one of the goals was to write up my speaking bio.

I went away and started, I find it really hard to write about yourself and let people know what you are doing.

For me to have the opportunities to achieve my goal, I really needed to push through that.

I did, it was difficult and felt strange.

I went back and showed my friend and mentor. She went through it and edited it and helped me with it.

I went back home and worked on it again probably for a few weeks.

I don’t know why I am taking my time with it? I really don’t. I love speaking, I love meeting people and I really do want to make a difference.

I have really wanted to share my journey, my testimony and to speak at least once a month.

I find myself at the moment very tentative at sending out my speaking bio. It feels like the first time when I hand to publish my first post on my blog, scary but achieving a goal.

So for some accountability I am sharing this with you.

The speaking bio is ready to go and yes my plan is to send it out to a few church’s this weekend.

What is it that you find yourself procrastinating about?

So here I am cheering you on, let’s make a difference, let’s be bold, let’s just go for it.

Let’s be brave, let’s be bold and see what the next few months will bring.

Excited

Will share more soon.

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When You Feel Stuck

When You Feel Stuck

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The last few weeks I felt extremely stuck.

I have felt stuck in my creativity.

I know that this happens but it was a hard time for me.

I haven’t blogged in a while, I just didn’t have anything to write about. I probably did but I couldn’t find the words or the passion.

The way I would describe how I felt was like trying to walk in thick mud, if that is even possible? The energy that is needed to just move forward was hard and it was draining.

I suppose it didn’t help that I was unwell and I didn’t want to take any days of work.

I pushed on, I did and I was okay about it.

I know that it is really important that when you are not feeling 100% to surround yourself with others that can encourage you.

To have other that can inspire you.

A few weeks ago I had a Skype session with my friend and mentor. It was so much fun and I was refocussed on some goals that I had set earlier on in the year.

Then last Saturday I went to a writing, blogging and publishing catch up at a lovely café.  It was so good to see what other people are doing and learning some new ideas about blogging.

Then on Wednesday I went to another café to meet with lots of creatives. Loved the night and also seeing what others are doing.

Now I am feeling inspired, I am feeling inspired to write, to work on goals, to take pictures and to just be creative.

What do you do when you find yourself stuck in the creative process?

Do you have friends that you can talk to, that can encourage you?

Will share more soon.

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Breakout

Breakout

by Tracey Buckley ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

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The last few months I have felt a little stuck, stuck with creativity and stuck with where I am at in my life.

Don’t panic it is all good, I am okay. Yes really I am.

I love my career and I love what I able to do and all the people that I am able to meet and that I am able to journey with.

I think what I really needed was to rest, to spend some time at home on my own.

I have still been going out but not as much as I have wanted too.

The time that I have had on my own has been good.

I feel that November, that now is the time to-

Breakout

I want to mix things up a bit.

I suppose that I need a few new projects.

I have an amazing supervisor with my Chaplaincy and I am reminded of the questions that he asked me-

  1. What are you doing to replenish yourself?
  2. Are you getting time to exercise?
  3. Are you connecting into a church?

I am reminded daily about these questions and making the time to replenish myself.

I have also gone back to boxing and I am loving it.

I have decided to go to a friend’s church and just fellowship there.

I have to continually remind myself of these three questions daily to keep them fresh in my mind. Also to remind me that these are important things that I need to do to run my race.

So my challenge for November is to breakout to shake things up a bit and to catch up with friends.

I also want to get back to singing to make this a priority.

Stay Tuned November is exciting.

What is something that you can do to breakout this November?

I would love to hear your ideas?

Will share more soon.

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The Moment I Lost It

The Moment I Lost It

by Tracey Buckley ♥ 1 Comment

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Have you ever had that moment when you have said the words, heard what you have said, wondered if they actually came out of your mouth and then realised at that moment you are capable of standing up for yourself?

Well this happened to me the other day.

If you know me when I do become upset about something I do like to process it and try and deal with the situation resulting in a win, win situation.

I am passionate about standing up for injustice.

Well last Tuesday I do not know what overcame me.

The day started out so well, I went to work and then I finally made it to boxing which I have missed. I had made a commitment to attend boxing twice a week.

I was driving home from boxing and was feeling amazing. I had stopped at an intersection and was waiting to turn left.  I couldn’t go the intersection was busy then it happened the person behind me drove into the back of my car.

At first I couldn’t believe it, I looked in the rear view mirror, I flung the door open, I flew out of the car and I said to the person who had run into me “You just drove into me”.

There was no fear; I had not accessed the situation I didn’t know if the other person was going to be aggressive or anything. All rational thoughts had left me.

The person just sat in their car and said to me “I thought you were going”.

I replied “Well I didn’t”.

The other person got out of their car and I asked if they could give me their details. The other person said that they didn’t have a license it was stolen and that their car was not insured. I received their details and I said “So if I phone this number will your phone ring” they said “Yes”. While I am saying this I am pointing at the person’s phone.

They said again I thought you were going. I said back but I didn’t and you should leave a gap between cars.

As I was saying all these things and giving this person a lesson in road rules (mmh) I just had no fear at all.

I got back into my car and a car next to me let me in and I went home.

I was okay and there wasn’t that much damage to my car, so I was physically okay.

When I arrived home I was upset a bit but then I just thought that no weapon formed against me will prosper.

After all it was only a car, I wasn’t really hurt.

I think that I had shocked myself because I had blurted out words without caring about the other person and how they were feeling.

Sometimes when you do bottle up your feelings it can only take one little incident and you find yourself becoming like a volcano.

I think it is important that you are not hard on yourself.  That sometimes these things will happen.

Words are powerful.

Will share more soon.

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Have You Ever?

Have You Ever?

by Tracey Buckley ♥ 2 Comments

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Do you ever have those moments when you feel like you have been waiting and waiting for a dream to be realised?

Do you every find yourself doubting, speaking negatively about a situation you find yourself in?

Do you ever find yourself crying yourself to sleep at night waiting for your situation to change?

Do you ever feel like your life has been going well and you wake up one day and notice this is not where I thought I would be?

Do you ever find yourself tired of having to do things by yourself?

Do you ever find yourself asking those hard questions?

I think that if we are all honest with ourselves, we would say yes.

We can find ourselves stuck.

It is challenging being in that place of being stuck and reaching towards your dreams.

It can be difficult and it can be hard.

How do we push through these times, how do we cope, what are some things that we can do while we are waiting?

Four Ideas Come to my Mind

  1. Hang around people that are encouraging, people that you can just be yourself with. Hang around those friends, that see your potential. Get around friends that know your dreams and are encouragers.
  2. Write up quotes of your dreams and place them around your house. Speak them over your life and believe them.
  3. Look after yourself and don’t be hard on yourself. Do something nice for yourself. You deserve it.
  4. Pray about it, have good friends pray for you and believe. Write out your prayers requests.

Don’t give up my friend.

Keep pressing in.

Keep that dream alive.

You can do it.

If you find yourself not in a great space go and seek professional help, like counselling. Phone a help line, talk with someone that you trust.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Will share more soon.

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Rest in the Creative Process

Rest in the Creative Process

by Tracey Buckley ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

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Last night I slept well, I woke up this morning with a feeling of peace.

Peace that I haven’t felt in a while.

The last few days I have been on an amazing retreat meeting women from all creative backgrounds. Hearing what they are doing and being encouraged by speakers and leaders in the creative area.

The retreat has energised me; it has allowed me to have the space to create. It has challenged me to spend more time on the creative process.

Today I am feeling inspired and have so many thought and ideas rolling around in my head.

I learnt that dreams that I have thought that have died, are not.

The dream is still burning and is still shining. My dreams are alive again.

I have learnt that it is okay to be vulnerable; it’s okay to make mistakes and to be kind to yourself. To be honest I am still working on this.

It’s okay to just be yourself.

I find that this is hard sometimes as well to just  be yourself and that it is okay.

It is okay to enjoy yourself and to be filled with joy.

I have learnt that I am enough.

This is something that I am still working on and to just be kind to myself.

I have been reminded that I want to sing more and that I want to just sit in the creative space.

I have learnt that I want to rest in the creative process.

I want to be able to have that space to create, the space to dream and the challenge of taking that leap of faith.

I want to be able to keep stretching myself and to always keep learning.

I have been encouraged to reach further and to just have a go at things.

I have learnt that I am a creative.

Will share more soon.

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Space to Create

Space to Create

by Tracey Buckley ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

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I haven’t blogged for a while as my life has just been full.

I have had the most amazing last two weeks.

I work as a primary school Chaplain and I helped plan a disco for the students at one of my schools. It was my first time helping out and planning a school disco. We had three sessions and we had the most fantastic volunteers. I love being in a school community that is committed to making a difference. The disco theme was COLOUR POP and it was so much fun.

The disco was on the Friday and the Saturday I went to a Grow + Gather event hosted by a friend and mentor of mine. It was held in a great coffee place in Rockingham.  This event was on Social Media and I learnt so much.

That night I had one of my beautiful nieces stay over and had to pick her up first from a party. I love having them over and just being in the moment.

Monday I had my two support schools and then I went to one of my other schools to help them with their art exhibition and fun afternoon. It was another great example of when a community gets together what can happen. I love community events.

Then last Wednesday to Friday I had Drumbeat training and this was just amazing. Drumbeat helps to engage students where talk based therapy has not helped. I love the whole way that the program valued and respected the student. It was great to meet other people, also to learn about other organisations. Lunch was provided which is always good and the food was amazing.

Then Friday night I had two of my nieces stay over and it was just a lovely night of watching DVD’s and having the feast.

Now I am on school holidays and I am looking forward to not having to set my alarm, which is my favourite part of being on holidays.

I really want to focus on just slowing down and working on creative ideas.

Having the space to create.

What helps you to be creative?

Will share more soon.

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