Do you every feel like you are invisible, like the world is passing you by? Have you ever felt that you are standing still, but everyone is enjoying their life and you have been left behind?

This was what my life was like about 7 to 9 years ago.

I felt like I was in the way, I felt like I had no voice, I felt like no one noticed me, I felt like my opinions did not mater:

I was invisible

I am sure that this was not the thought of my friends or family but to me this was very real.

I still showed up to work and worked very hard; I still did what others wanted me to do. I was just going through the motions.

I was in the grips of an illness that controlled me.

I wanted to hide away.

Breaking the hold and breaking the control of the illness was hard. It was very real.

I am grateful of walking through this and recovering.

I have learnt so much along the journey and discovered who I really am.

I really have, I have empathy for others, I can relate to what others are going through.

I know that you can change your life and live an amazing life.

Do I feel invisible now?

No I am loud, I love life, I laugh a lot, I want to learn new things and I want to give back and help others.

If this is how you are feeling, let me encourage you to talk to someone who is safe. Talk to a professional like a psychologist, see your local GP.

Phone lifeline if you need to talk to someone.

Reach out and talk to someone who you trust.

You are too important for the world not to see your amazing gifts and talents that you have to share.

You have so much to give.

I believe in you.

Will share more soon.

Today I was looking through some of my art therapy files and discovering pictures I had created.

My first experience in art therapy was in 2005.

It really showed me where I was in my journey; emotionally I was a broken shell of a woman.

For me art therapy helped me to express how I was feeling without having to speak about it.

It allowed me to bring how I was feeling in the inside and bring it to life through the art work.

I must say that in 2005 it was pretty dark; overall it was a pretty dark time for me.

I really wanted to share it with you because that is where I have come from and we all go through hard times.

We can let those hard times consume us or when we can, we can learn from it and come out stronger than ever before.

This is my journey form one of darkness and no hope to one of finding who I really am and who I have become.

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The first picture I found which I am going to share-

At the time I wrote this about the picture-

The Tear Drop

I started out drawing a teardrop my tear.

Then it appeared to be a drop of water.  The tear is landing on my life which is dry like a desert.

The tear is trying to give nourishment to help the dry area survive. It started to water the dry area.  There are no green or living plants yet, but hopefully over time there will be new life.

The tear is being engulfed by all the dryness it’s quite barren.

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Looking at my life now, there has been a lot of new growth and new discoveries.

Be encouraged, don’t give up.  I believe in you.

Will share more soon.

I just love spending quality time with my sister.xx

I have two weeks of school holidays and I am really looking forward to the break.

One of my favourite things that I love to do is turn my alarm off, I love that feeling of not being woken up and being able to sleep in.

Bliss.

Holidays is also a time to catch up with friends, I have amazing friends and I love that we might not see each other for a while but when we catch up, it’s like it was just last week.

Holidays are also a great time for me to reflect on my goals and dreams and to see how far I have progressed.

It also allows me the time to rearrange things that I am doing and also to say no to some things.

Saying no for me is hard, but I need to bring it back to, am I working towards my goals and dreams.

There are some things that I have not started yet at all and that was boxing. I have been meaning to go back since the beginning of the year.

A few goals that I am going to work on these holidays are-

• Boxing you are on the list.
• Singing and singing practice you are on the list.
• Writing songs you are on the list.
• Dancing, dancing classes and dance routines you are on the list.
• Creating, Writing and blogging you are on the list.
• Catching up with family you are on the list.
• Speaking opportunities you are on the list.
• Having fun you are on the list.

Next week I am so excited to catch up with an amazing friend and mentor.  I have some journaling to do before we catch up and I am excited.

I am excited because she helps me to be accountable, she encourages me, she inspires me, she motivates me and she allows me to be me.

So if you find yourself on holidays be kind to yourself if you need to rest and if you need to sleep.

Look after yourself, take this time to do things that you love.

Maybe there are things that you would like to reflect on.

I am reflecting on……………………….

Will share more soon.